Hackers from Hell and a Life Lesson

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This is something more personal...

I want to share with you some information about life that I learnt at the start of the new year. I would have spread my new found wisdom with you before, but I was waiting for the right moment and when I felt ready. For some reason, it is now.

First of all, I am the girl who will stand my ground on what I think, what I believe, no matter what anybody else says. I think its due to the fact that I have been a Christian since the age of five, and have had to debate, (and sometimes fight off), atheists all my life.A burden that has sharpened my skills in debating so that now I have won awards in debating competitions. Some say ironic, I say Gos rewarding me for having to argue with people all my life.

I am the girl, who stands out without meaning to. The one who sneaks through the backdoor, only to have everyone turn to look at her. The one who could quote the likes of Jane Austin and Mother Teresa, yet would still always be remembered for the slightly dimmer things she has said. The one with plenty of attention, yet not always in a good way.

But most of all, I am the girl who never cries. Because for years I regarded tears and pent-up emotions as a sign of weakness; show how they've hurt you and they'll do it again; show who bothered you that you're upset and its them who's winning.

But this is not always the case.

Who ever knows me, goes to my school, has me as a friend on Facebook or who saw this blog on Thursday, January 6th, will know that I was the victim of a malicious attack of cyber-bullying. For hours, my blog was filled with nude pictures and how blonde's can't write, my email was unreachable, and my Facebook...well, to save going into too much detail, (or this could take a while), I'll fill you in on a few things; This person knew a lot about me; my religion, how I'm a radio presenter, who my best friends are, down to the name of my boyfriend who half of my year did not even know existed! They even went to the trouble of making the profile picture a naked girl, (not showing her face, of course), of my build with my hair colour to try and convince people it was me...

Over six hours of shaking, wondering what I could have possibly done that was so wrong to deserve such abuse and some brilliant-with-computers-friends-help later, I finally retrieved my passwords. Only to find out that all my emails, which were all kept due to containing important information such as about university interviews, were deleted and unretrievable And although I admit that it is painful to recollect that horrible night, there was a lighter side...

The support I got from everyone at school and on Facebook was amazing. Instead of mocking me, people fed abuse to the hacker and told him/her to leave me alone. And I truly, from the bottom of my outspoken heart, sincerely thank everybody for their amazing support. I can't, (and I don't want to), imagine what I would of done if the support wasn't there.

The following day at school, instead of being greeted with jokes, I was offered open arms and sympathy. And with this, for the first time in a long time; I cried. I cried more than once, in school, in front of most of my year. Something which I never thought I'd do- to expose myself as so vulnerable in front of so many people at once... and then I realised; it was not that bad. Crying and actually letting yourself feel and show emotion really does help. What was I so afraid of...?

And then it hit me- the information about life in which I mentioned earlier:

Showing emotion is not a sign of weakness...
not having the courage to let yourself show emotion is.

So there you have it. The epiphany that came from one of the worst experiences in my life. And to the Hacker/hackers from Hell...

Thank you. I am no longer the girl who is too afraid to cry. If it wasn't for you, I would probably never have learnt that lesson.

And as God says; Everything happens for a reason...

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